Chapters 48 - 49 - Weddings

Chapter 48

Weddings

The wedding day begins early. I think the bride gets up at 6:00 a. m. or before. The bridesmaid comes to help the bride get ready. Things like makeup, clothes, whatever is needed. One thing that is different from our weddings, there is one bridesmaid and one best man but no other attendants. The groom and his entourage show up by 10:00, I can’t remember the exact time. This will include the best man, camera and video people, not sure if there are more, but those are the basic ones. There are traditions that take place, whatever is included in their culture. Pictures and video are taken. I should also say that the whole family is there, parents, brothers and sisters.

The weddings can be any day of the week and they are held at noon. Not all of China is like that but it was where I lived and many other places in the country.

The wedding is usually held at a hotel restaurant. There is a room set up for weddings. There are usually ten people at a table and depending upon the number of guests there could be fifteen to forty tables. During the five years that I spent in Luoyang, I went to twenty weddings and there was one that was really big. I know it was between 300 to 400 people. Maybe 150-200 is an average wedding.

The wedding couple will get to the hotel at 11:30 and stand outside and greet people as they come for the wedding. The wedding begins at 12:00. The wedding ceremony is done by 12:30, people eat and they are gone by 1:30 and go back to work.

When you first get there, the tables are set up with some cold dishes of food, kind of like appetizers. I believe there are between six or eight dishes. When the wedding ceremony was over, you would start with those as the hot food was being brought out.

The groom is in the front on the stage. The MC is also there. The MC is a person that is hired to officiate the wedding. I don’t think “MC” is what he/she is actually called, it is the only term that I can use so someone here can understand. Mr. Zhai used to do this. He was one of the teachers at the Number Two Foreign Language School and did that for years. He was excellent. It could be a friend of the family that is qualified to officiate weddings or someone else. 

When the bride comes in, everyone stands like we do here. The MC talks, the parents are brought up, words are said and the wedding couple bow to each set of parents. The bosses where the bride and groom work are there and say something. The actual ceremony lasts about thirty minutes. There may be a small group of musicians that will play music before the wedding and a little while afterwards. 

Weddings are very noisy in China. There are two loudspeakers up front that are turned way up so that the people in the back can hear. I have never figured out why they don’t put speakers in the back and turn all the speakers down. If you are sitting at any of the tables that are close to the front, you have to yell in order to talk to people because of the speakers being so loud. At many weddings, that is where I sat because I was a guest and a foreigner.

When the ceremony is taking place, the bride is wearing the traditional white wedding gown like we do here. When the ceremony is over, the bride and groom leave for a bit, maybe fifteen minutes, the food is brought out and when they return the bride has changed into the traditional Chinese dress called a Qipao. It is usually red with designs, very beautiful. They have drinks like liquor, soda or whatever is decided upon, and they go around to each table and toast everyone. I remember one wedding where the bride changed four times. I think it is usually just the two dresses that are worn, the white wedding gown and the Qipao.

I said that the wedding starts at 12:00 and by 1:30 people would leave and go back to work. The reason that the wedding is held at noon is because people have a break from work so they can go to the wedding. The wedding couple may go on a honeymoon, they may do other things during the day and if they have their own place they may go there or they may go to another town. They may go on a honeymoon at a later time.

One of my close friends got married and I was invited to go to her parent’s place in the morning to see what happens before going to the wedding. I went at 9:00 a. m. and saw some of the things that go on before the ceremony. I was happy to be invited. I had only heard about what happened in the mornings before the wedding, this time I got to see what went on. I took some pictures and also videotaped the wedding so if anyone would ever be interested I can show them what a Chinese wedding is like.

As time has gone on, more people have wedding rings. It could be a band or a diamond. Whatever the couple decides and can afford. Having a wedding ring is not as common as it is in the US. A man and woman may be married but they may not wear rings.

When Chinese women get married, they do not change their last name. I do not know about other Asian countries, I have never asked anyone. When they have a child, whether it’s a boy or girl, the child takes the father’s family name and it is kept for life.

The weddings that I went to were with teachers that I worked with, some were friends and one wedding was one of my former students. Three other of my former students got married also but I wasn’t able to make those.

There was one wedding that Mary and I went to where we didn’t know anyone. Mr. Zhai contacted Mary and I one day and asked if we could go to a wedding. The people that were getting married wanted foreigners at their wedding and the ones at the Number Two Foreign Language School had classes and other things going on at school so he asked Mary and I. We were done with our classes by 11:00 a.m. that day so we could go. 

Mary and I were picked up at our school gate. The vehicle that we rode in was a big SUV. It was the only vehicle that I could fit in during the five years that I was there. They wanted the foreigner to say something so I got up there with the bride and groom and said something and someone translated. After the wedding, we were brought back home.

In China, whenever you see a procession for a wedding, you will usually see black cars that are Audi’s. I don’t know if it is a status thing or what. I was told that when an Audi dealer sells a black one, the dealer keeps track of who has it and then if someone is going to a wedding and needs one of the cars, I guess they work something out to borrow it. I am not sure how it works. One time, I saw a red Mustang convertible as the lead car with the wedding couple in it.

The wedding pictures are taken at a different time than when we do it in the US. In China, wedding pictures are taken about two or three months before the wedding. The couple will hire a team of professional photographers and rent beautiful outfits to create amazing pictures. They will go to some beautiful place like a park and can spend all day taking pictures.. I have been told by some friends that have gotten married that for the pictures they will start early in the morning, like 7:00 or 8:00, and spend up to twelve hours moving around the area taking pictures. It is a long hard day for both the couple and the photographers. I have also heard that sometimes they may not get a chance to eat either until they are done with taking the pictures.

Another thing that is done in China for weddings is shooting off firecrackers. They will shoot off lots of them, as in thousands, when the couple arrives for the wedding and again when they leave.

Chapter 49 

Wedding Pictures

In this picture section, you can see the different dresses that wedding couples wear, the setting where the weddings take place, what they wear, the food and the beauty of how weddings are done in China and the Asian world. I went to twenty weddings during my five years in China. I didn’t always know the wedding couple. I was a foreigner so I was invited to the weddings by my friends whether I knew the wedding couple or not.

The couple will take pictures a few months before the wedding. I saw many couples in different parks in Luoyang getting their pictures taken. Taking the pictures ahead of time is a nice way to do it then they don't have to worry about it the day of the wedding.

The weddings are held at noon. The wedding ceremony is held in a big room in a hotel. For the ceremony, the tables are set for eating and the guests are sitting at them. The wedding usually takes about thirty minutes and then people will eat and leave by 1:30 to go back to work.

The bride will usually wear two different dresses during the wedding. She will wear the white wedding gown for the ceremony and then change into a second dress. Most of the time the second dress will be the traditional red Chinese Qipao.

The pictures that you see here are some that I was at or the reception. I do not know everyone in the pictures. Sometimes I was invited by friends to go with them. There are pictures of the ceremony, the food and sometimes I was in people’s homes and I took pictures of their wedding pictures. I want to say something about the receptions. Sometimes a person may work in one city and they are from another so they will have the actual wedding in their hometown and then have a reception in the city they are working in for their friends.

I will describe some of the pictures, others you can look at and they will all give you an idea what weddings are like in China. Chinese weddings are noisy because everyone is happy and celebrating. In the US, we are happy at our weddings but a lot of them are held in churches where it will be quieter for the ceremony and then noisy at the reception. Some of our weddings are outside in parks or at someone’s home. There are all kinds of ways to do weddings.



This picture was taken professionally of my friends Janus (Wang Jian) and Brandi (Bai Lan). They are both English teachers. As you can see, they are wearing traditional Chinese clothes. They look like they were having fun with this.

Wang Jian was born in the month of January. January is named after the Roman god Janus, the god of doors because this month is the door to the year. The Roman god Janus represents all beginnings and possesses the ability to see all things past and future.

I don’t know if this is a good place to put this but it kind of fits. The stereotype of Chinese is that they are short. Janus is 6 foot 5 inches. One of the teachers at the Number 19 High School has an adult son that is 6 foot 5 inches. I had a 16 year old student that was 6 foot 5 inches. There were a lot of my students that were as tall as I am and taller, both boys and girls. I was at a restaurant with friends one time and the waitress was six feet tall.


For this wedding, the bride changed dresses four times. This is the only wedding that I was at where the bride changed that many times. In all of the other weddings the bride wore two different dresses.


See the Chinese character in gold behind them? That is called Double Happiness, shuang xi. This is a Chinese traditional ornament design used as a symbol of marriage. That is actually two characters put together. One character is xi and means joy and happiness so the two characters wish you double happiness for your wedding and life.


The girl on the left is Echo (Li Rui) who asked me to go to the wedding with her. She and the bride were classmates in school.




This is the 4th dress that the bride wore.


This picture was taken after the wedding in their apartment.

These next wedding pictures are of one of my former students from the first time that I was in Luoyang. I was not able to go to her wedding so she sent these pictures to me. They were taken a few months before the wedding. This will give you an example of what professional wedding pictures are like in China.

















The next pictures are of Paul and Florence-a foreigner from Sweden and a Chinese lady. They had a restaurant called Images where foreigners would go to meet. Paul had the Chinese cooks taught how to make Western food like hamburgers, French fries, spaghetti and other kinds. On the table, you can see the cold dishes of food. These would be like appetizers. After the wedding ceremony was over, people would start with those as the hot food was being brought out.




Usually there are ten people at a table. I have seen anywhere from 150-400 people at the weddings that I was at. Like I mentioned before, this takes place in a hotel where a big room is used for weddings.


The lady on the left is the MC. They are licensed and officiate the wedding. They talk about the bride and groom, the parents and other things.




You can see where Florence has changed from the white wedding gown into the traditional Chinese Qipao. When the couple has gone through the wedding ceremony and are married, the couple leaves for maybe fifteen minutes. The bride changes and she and the groom come back and they go to each table toasting everyone. The lady behind Florence is the MC

This wedding is another one of my former students from the first time I was in Luoyang.


This is the walkway where they will walk to the front and get married.


Here they are going from table to table and toasting the guests afterwards.


Yuan Lei and Wang Yao


When a Chinese lady gets married, she does not change her family name.

This is the only wedding where I was invited to the parent’s home earlier in the morning and I saw some of the things that go on ahead of the actual wedding. The bridesmaid comes early and helps her get ready for the day. The groom comes later along with people that will take video and pictures. There’s other things that go along with all of this.


The bride, Wei Zheyu, and her sister, Wei Zherui. Ms. Wei, on the right, was a teacher at the Number One Foreign Language School when I was there.








This is a family picture. Back row-Song Li and Ms. Wei (husband and wife); bride and groom; Wei Yurui-brother to Ms. Wei and the bride; Front row are the parent’s and their grandson Michael who is Song Li and Ms. Wei’s son.




When the bride and groom are brought to the hotel where the marriage ceremony takes place, fireworks are shot off. Thousands of them.






The bride and groom stand at the entrance of the hotel and greet people as they come for the wedding.




The MC is the man to the right that is marrying them.


The parents of both the bride and groom are seated. The bride’s parents are right in front of them. The groom’s parents are sitting to the left. The MC does some talking during this time and the bride and groom will bow to both sets of parents. At many of the weddings that I was at, the bosses come from where the bride and groom have jobs and also say something during the ceremony.


The cold dishes ready to be served after the wedding ceremony is over.


Eating after the ceremony.


Going around and toasting at each table.


When the wedding is over, they go back outside to say goodbye to the guests


The following pictures are of more couples and weddings.







I was at Wangcheng Park with a friend and we came across several couples were there having their wedding pictures taken. This was one of the couples. I have mentioned before that in China, the couple that will get married go out to a park with professional photographers two or three months before the wedding to have this done. That way, they do not have to do this on the day of the wedding when it is already so busy.












The man on the left is the MC, a teacher at the Number 19 High School. The groom is Alan, Wu Jingbing, an English teacher also at the school. His wife Julia is an English teacher at another school in Luoyang.


Amiao’s (Guo Limiao) wedding picture from the Number Two Foreign Language School. I was not in Luoyang when she and her husband got married.


Emily (Bai Li), one of the teachers that I worked with at the Number 19 High School and her husband. I had gone back to the US when they were married.



Bai Ru from the Number 19 High School and her husband.




Laura (Zhang Lei), from the Number Two Foreign Language School, and her husband Zhang Lei. Yes, they both have the same name.


Ms. Wei (Wei Zherui), an English teacher from the Number One Foreign Language School, her husband Song Li and their son Michael.


Rebecca (Zhuan Hongjuan), an English teacher from the Number One Foreign Language School, and her husband.


Rebecca’s parent’s wedding picture.


Vivian (Zhang Xiaoli), an English teacher at the Number 19 High School, and her husband.


Coco, an English teacher from the Number 19 High School, and her husband also from Number 19.


The six cars on this side of the street are all Audi’s. This is a wedding party. Whenever you see black Audi’s like this, it is usually a wedding party. The husband and others are picking up the bride and going to the wedding. I am not sure, but I think the Audi’s are a status symbol for weddings. I took this picture from my kitchen window. Either the bride lived in the same apartment complex that I did or close by.